


Traffic and an Empty Bed

by lancethewriter



Series: Among the Stars - KotOR One Shots [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, a little sad if you’ve read the book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancethewriter/pseuds/lancethewriter
Summary: Revan can’t sleep because of the visions that plague her at night. Bastila can’t sleep because someone is missing from her bed.





	Traffic and an Empty Bed

She stood on a small balcony that jutted out from the equally small apartment, leaning on the cold, metal railing and gazing down at the lights below. Watching the speeder traffic on Coruscant, especially at night, always had its way of relaxing her. She could lose herself in the blurring lights, her mind drifting into a state of ease. Or, as close as she could get to serenity. Stepping back into the apartment, Revan sighed; it was a sigh that could hardly be heard over the noises of the city, but she felt its weight nonetheless. 

She closed the balcony door behind her and retrieved the warm, herbal drink from the counter. She sipped it slowly as she made her way to the old couch that sat nestled in a corner, and she quietly sank into the cushions. In that moment, the lights came on dimly, and a familiar figure edged into view. 

“Bastila.” Revan smiled softly as the other woman took a seat beside her. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Bastila tucked her legs up onto the couch, returning the expression with one of her own. “I’d rather be awake with you than asleep without,” she replied, sliding closer. “I could feel your absence.”

“So it was the Force that woke you?”

She shook her head. “No. It got cold.”

Revan allowed herself a chuckle. “I’m terribly sorry about that.” She set her drink down on a side table and reached out an arm. “Care to join me?”

Bastila nodded, closing the rest of the distance and drifting into Revan’s warm embrace. “Trouble sleeping, my love?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” she insisted, absentmindedly running her fingers through her lover’s hair. “It’s of little importance.”

Bastila looked up, meeting Revan’s eyes. “Of course it’s important.”

She smiled again, but it was of a different nature. Sad, almost. “Wouldn’t you like to return to bed?”

“So long as you’re with me.”

“I’d love to, but. . .” She trailed off, her gaze wandering elsewhere. “There’s too much present at the moment. I can’t.”

“Tell me about it, then,” Bastila countered, commandeering Revan’s attention. “Tell me what troubles you.”

Revan’s hand found the side of Bastila’s face, and she sighed the same, heavy sigh from before. “It’s complicated.”

“Our entire lives are complicated, my love.” 

Instead of a response, Revan leaned forward and pressed her lips to Bastila’s. She desperately wanted to escape what had been plaguing her for months, wanted to lose herself in this love. It was all she had; she couldn’t risk losing it, but she wondered if she even had a choice. 

When she pulled away, she brought one hand up to stem the tears that threatened to fall. One slipped past the dam, however, and Bastila reached up and moved her hand aside. 

“Revan, what’s wrong?”

She was still for a brief moment, and she kissed her again. This time there was none of the gentle anguish, and in its place was something more forceful and passionate. The dynamic of the interaction changed, suddenly, and then she was on top of her. Her hands were roaming, and Bastila moaned softly against her mouth. But when her teeth graced the skin of her neck, Bastila placed a hand on her chest and lightly pushed her away.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked, adjusting into her previous seated position. Her face was pulled into a tiny frown, and she would have pointed out its endearing nature if not for the significance of the question.“I know something isn’t right.”

Revan was silent, saying nothing as her eyes focused on the floor. After several seconds, she looked back up at Bastila. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Bastila took her hands, squeezing them tightly. “I’m not leaving you, ever.”

“I know. You're not the one leaving.”

Worry seeped into Bastila’s eyes, and she shook her head. “What do you mean? You’re leaving? Leaving me?”

The despair that had instantly made its way into her voice was heartbreaking, and she dearly wished she had said something differently. “No, no, that’s not what I mean at all. I love you.”

The worry drained from her face, though it was quick to exist in another form. “Then what?”

“I have to go somewhere,” she began to explain, her heart heavy. “Not now, hopefully not soon. But eventually, I must.”

“I don’t understand. Where are you going?” 

“Somewhere dangerous. Somewhere I can’t risk bringing you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Bastila narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. “Revan, we’ve faced powerful Sith; we’ve fought monsters, assassins, armies. What makes you believe we cannot face this danger together?”

“I’ve been there, once,” she said in gentle exasperation. “Before I was me. When I was Revan.” She sighed, moving her thumb over the back of Bastila’s hand. “Malak and I barely made it back. It’s darkness, Bastila. It’s evil. I can’t - I can’t let you be there.”

“It isn’t your decision to make,” Bastila protested. “I won’t let you face this alone.” 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. If you died-”

“It’s that dangerous that you believe you’ll die?” 

Revan shook her head. “I won’t. I won’t die. I won’t go alone, but I can’t let you come with me.”

“How do you know you’ll be safe?” 

“A place of pure darkness offers no guaranteed safety. . . But I have a feeling. I know I’ll be okay.”

Bastila squeezed her hands again. “I trust in the Force to keep you alive, my love. Promise me that you’ll return.”

“I promise, I will return to you.”

Bastila placed a soft kiss on her lips, and she closed her eyes. The burden of this undertaking was still difficult to bear, but she certainly felt as if she had more room to breathe. More room to lose herself. 

“Shall we return to bed, then?” 

Bastila nodded, and Revan stood from the couch, sweeping her lover into her arms as she made her way back to their room, putting out the light in the living space. She set her down and then lay down beside her, both of them settling beneath the comforter. Bastila rested her head on Revan’s chest, and in that moment they were both endlessly content. 

“I love you,” Revan murmured, her hand coming to rest along Bastila’s back. But there was no response, as she was already asleep. And in time, so was Revan.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually cried when I finished the Revan novel


End file.
